Some Deep Thoughts On Deep Throats

So I won't lie.  I'm getting to be an old lady.  If there's one thing I've learned in these too damned many years on this earth, it is how to give some truly exceptional head.

I wasn't always good at it.  When you're young, men give you false clues about oral because they're just so thrilled to be having their dicks touched at all.  You get all the moans and grunts in the world just for putting the thing in your mouth.

So what happens to a lot of us is that we come to think we give great head, even if all we're doing is the most basic pucker-up and bob action.

The reality is that cocks love to be fawned over, licked, kissed, drooled on, praised and generally treated to a good time.  One thing they REAAALLY love is to get throated.

Men fall into three categories.

1.  Mouth-deep.  These are the little guys, whose eager but tiny (and therefor disappointing to me... and probably their owners) pricks are easy to please.  You can often tell a little guy you're throating him when he's just barely hitting the back of your mouth.  I guess what I'm saying is: It's easy to please a tiny dick, but why would you bother?

2.  Throating Cocks.  The big boys, my favorite, of course.  I can throat an awful lot of meat.  The last time I really measured what I could pull off I was sinking 9 inches into my gullet, and there's a good chance I've gotten better.  People often don't think I've got a gag reflex, but that's not true at all.  The secret to Deepthroating a huge cock is actually very Zen.  You don't want to try to AVOID your gag reflex, that's not gonna happen, a fat dick will find it every time no matter what you do.  Rather, just as the guy is entering, intentionally grind him into the most dangerous part of your throat and keep it there.  The idea is to get the body used to accommodating a big throbbing meaty log in their without rejecting it.  I won't lie.  If you practice this method you ARE gonna gag, you ARE gonna choke, and you will quite possibly throw up.  Once you master it though, you'll be ready to take on anyone to their amazement.

3.  The impossibles.  I bet you thought I was gonna talk about even bigger cocks here, NOPE.  The worst guys to try throating are the ones who are juuuuust long enough to PUNCH your gag reflex with their heads, but not long enough to grind against or get deep and stay there.  It can get really frustrating.  You talk your good game about what a great blowjob artist you are (not that I am bitter) and then when you try to demonstrate it's nothing but teary-eyes and retreat.  You can't get used to the pressure like you do with big boys, but at the same time, their relentless facefucking apparatus will just brutalize the absolute worst place.

I'll close by saying what I love to say to a potential fuck if the topic of deep-throating comes up.

"I'm pretty good at it.  I can deepthroat like 9 inches.  More than that and I'll gag.  But I *like* to gag a little."